6 WEEKS!!!!!!!!

Well this has definitely been a month of many ups and downs! I am truly amazed by how fast it seems to be going by. The Battalion page on facebook and Twitter feed has been a God-send.... I would be out of my mind if it wasn't for the people on those pages! Even when one of us starts getting down and depressed, there is always someone there to lift you right back up :) I am missing John more than I thought possible, but after hearing his voice this weekend it has made it a little bit easier. Especially now that the mail is catching up and coming regularly. Thursdays are my favorite.... always get a massive letter that spans from the Friday-Sunday before. And this last one was very uplifting. He says he is making great friends, with several of them going to Fort Lee for AIT with him. He isn't a huge fan of their female DS, that she is a *tad* intense lol. Excited that he has his 8-pack back (I'm pretty pumped too! ;-) ) and loves Sundays because it is their relaxing day where he gets to take a nap and write everyone. I am so proud of him :) They moved into White Phase this past Saturday and are now focusing on their weapons and shooting and combat, and a bit less on the "soldierization" like they did in Red Phase. So that means a bit more freedoms.

Me & the kids have gotten into a good routine. Mondays are very relaxing - usually hang out at home, do a little cleaning, and just play. Tuesday it is work & then kids go to my folks' house so I can peacefully workout at the gym for a couple hours. Wednesday is work & church. Thursday is laundry & errands (and doctors the past couple weeks!! Darn you sickness that has invaded my children's bodies). Friday is work and home to relax. And weekends are whatever is going on. And every night I write to John once the kids are asleep - and stalk the battalion page every 5 minutes. I have grown to know my mailman. I meet him at the mailbox every Monday & Thursday :)

This past week has been the week of sickness and doctors it seems.... Brooke started getting sick middle of last week with a high fever, nasty cough, and sore throat. Then as she started getting on the mend Jake caught it.... And of course it buried deep into his lungs and has had a very hard week since. Went to the doctor 3 times the past 4 days. Monday - Brooke's 2 year checkup (36 1/2 inches tall and weighs 28 1/2 lbs! Growing like a weed!) and a sick checkup for Jake at the same time. Has an ear infection, and lots of gunk in his lungs. So we're doing nebulizer 3 times/day. Lung steroid once/day. And Amoxicillan twice/day. With Tylenol thrown in there whenever he fever spikes up. Wednesday - Jake threw up from coughing so hard. Brought him in and was given this nasty tea & honey mixture recipe to give him to loosen everything up so he wouldn't have to work so hard to cough it up. Took him a solid 35 minutes to down it.... it smelled awful lol. Poor kid. And today was his 15-month checkup. Weighs 19 lbs 12 oz and is 30 inches tall! Weight hasn't increased since his 12-month visit (He is down into the 5th percentile :( ), so have to start beefing up what he's eating - basically lots of pastas and putting rice cereal in his yogurt/applesauce/oatmeal. Thank goodness Jake sleeps a ton when he is sick... it is his only saving grace lol. Hearing that "Ehhhhh Ehhhh EHHHHH!" (Those of you who have met my child know this ridiculous noise lol) whine all day when he is sick makes a momma weary! Doctor also said his muscle development in his legs isn't exactly where it should be and that is probably the big reason he isn't walking yet. She said it is probably from all these months of being sick so often, and when he is sick he doesn't want to do much and sleeps wayyyyy more (like an extra 3 hours during the day more), and that he will catch up the better he feels. So I'm just walking with him holding onto my fingers all the time and keepin on workin on those little legs movin! I can't wait for his appointment at Children's in April..... always get so many more answers from the respiratory specialist than I ever can from the pediatrician. Ready for some answers!

But Jake is starting to talk more :) Will say "Dad" when I show him a picture of John, calls EVERYTHING "this", and will say "hi" and wave. Makes many sounds trying to imitate what I say, and of course gets frustrated when I can't understand what hes saying lol. And he stood by himself the other day! Like 5 whole seconds! I know it isn't much, but its a start! Brooke is finally feeling all the way better and is back to her happy (and often sassy! :-/ ) little self. Feeling very sentimental boxing up her 2T clothes... She just turned two 4 months ago! She is quite a tall girl! She loves coloring pictures for Daddy, especially because I let her use my pen when she does. She loves to draw him dolphins and whales and clouds.... all of which look like clouds. Big squiggly circles lol. But hey, at least she has a good imagination right?! And she makes me label each thing on her drawing so Daddy knows what it is. And potty training is going really well! Only a couple accidents in the past week!! Ahhh she is just getting too big.

And I personally am doing... okay. Better than I thought I wold be for sure. Nannying those 3 days keeps my mind busy. I don't really have tons of time to think about it til the kids go to bed most days. And that is when I write John. Until like 2-3 a.m. Because apparently my body refuses to get a good nights sleep while he is gone lol. So I am extremely sleep deprived, but sadly am getting used to that. Although last night I feel asleep around 12! Felt pretty stinkin' good! Plus, being fairly busy this past month has helped a lot. Went scrapbooking with my mom and sister a couple weekends ago, which was a blast! Only got 20 pages done, but had a lot of fun and got to catch up on some sleep and relax. And last weekend Kaylee was here. It was nice to catch up and hang out :) Even if 2 sick kids meant us being stuck in the boring apartment way more than I wanted to be lol.

Now for hoping April goes by just as quickly (or quicker!) as March did! 41 days til I see my baby! HOOAH!

Little Moments

• Brooke reading her "Cars" book to ME every night before she goes to bed. "And Lighting McQueen goes.... KA-CHOW!"
• Jake deciding he likes to cuddle before bed again... I love being able to rock with my baby boy for a couple peaceful minutes before he goes to bed.
• 30 amazing minutes talking to my husband on Saturday. 2 1/2 weeks until I hear his sexy voice again!

*Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.*

My Perfect Man

So, in high school I was never alone for more than a couple weeks. I always had a boy around to keep me company. I had a lot of close guy friends. And a lot of boyfriends. Yeah, I had my best girls too. But girls are dramatic. And complicated. And catty. And way too emotional. (Yes, I realize I am female and have all of those characteristics!) Boys are just...... easy. Not a whole lot of complicated emotions. They are brutally honest, especially when you need it. They tend to be amazing listeners. And (most) or them are taller/bigger so when you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to give you a hug, it is comforting, safe, and strong. And they are okay (and usually love) with doing ridiculous and fun and goofy things, like go-carting, playing at a park, going to valleyfair, laser tag, and video games.

I think that is the entire reason I went through dating guy after guy for those first 2 years. I was searching for someone to be all of those things. And all along I had him right there in my pocket. John Behrens. My best friend. The one I complained to about all the wretched boys to. Lol.

And now I miss that amazing man like crazy. I know, I know, I am being very complainy. But I missed his phone call this morning, and it really made my day do a suckhole 180. Listening to a voicemail saying he is safe and loves me just isn't the same as hearing it in real time. I miss that male-ness around the apartment, and in my life. Not saying I want to like hang out with all my guy friends to fill in the gaps, I just want the one whole filled in all the gaps by himself. To keep my ridiculous emotions in check, and to be goofy with, and lazy with. I realize it is only 4 days in, and I've got about 200 more to go, but I tend to suck at being alone.

But I am convinced to make tonight fun for the kids.  And the rest of the time. Because if they're miserable, its gonna make me more miserable, and then also crabby, which is never good. Lol. So tonight I'm going to make them they're favorite dinner (mac n cheese & hot dogs, of course!), and have a fun bath, and play "kitchen" til bedtime.

And I think as long as I don't miss any more of John's phone calls I won't have any more days where I feel as sucky and in a funk as today. And Jake's cough is finally getting better this afternoon, which is making me much happier not freaking out that he is going to vomit everywhere due to constantly coughing so hard.

So have a good week people, I am going to make sure I do :)

And So the Countdown Begins

So John has been gone 3 days, and things have been going well thus far. Well as in, nothing drastic has happened and I haven't been breaking down crying, yet. Haha. I have gotten the bathroom super clean, kept up on dishes, and started going through the ridiculous amount of junk next to our computer. Even went on my first excursion with both kids today! We got our new monitor at Best Buy. And no meltdowns! Woo!

However, today was the first day I have noticed Brooklyn genuinely missing Daddy. She asked me at least 15 times where he was. And was very sad after she had to hang up the phone with him this afternoon after only getting to talk to him for a couple minutes. Tonight she wanted to cuddle with him, but instead was okay with reading the Toy Story book he recorded for them and going to sleep with his old Vennard College ID. She found it on Wednesday next to our bed and has put it in her pocket every day. She says "Daddy's in my pocket!" I explain to her that Daddy is working in the army and won't be home for a very long time, but that only makes her more sad. I just hope she will understand soon, I feel terrible for her.

I am even noticing it with Jake. He went up to the patio door several times tonight saying "Dada!" "Dad!"... and there really is no way to explain to him what is going on. He also seems to be very comforted by reading that Toy Story book. Sits calmly and lets me go through the entire thing. So that is a plus.

I am just counting down the days until I can have another real conversation with him. It has been nice with him being able to have his phone on his down time right now, but his downtime is about 5 minutes tops, and phone calls are never more than 2 minutes. I just can't wait to get his address, and write him a letter. And to get one back and finding out how everything is going, and how he feels about it all. I hate sleeping alone, but am getting more comfortable with it, since I know I have to. Last night it only took about 10 minutes, compared to Wednesday night when it took almost an hour.

It really hit that he is gone for a long time today after I was done at Pump It Up with the kids and Meghan, Addison, and Aaron. I had a lot of fun there, and started calling John on the way home to tell him about it and that I was going to be home a few hours earlier than normal. As the phone started ringing I realized I couldn't just call him and let him know these things, there was no one at home waiting for us to get back.

So for now I am going to keep busy working on projects around the apartment with my music blaring. Watching all my seasons of OTH; and having Criminal Minds on instead of Sports Center. Playing with the kids so that they stay happy. And going to Lifetime, where I can have 2 hours entirely to myself where I can workout for an hour, and spend another full hour in the locker room getting ready!

And I want to thank all of you who are being so awesome and offering help, and just understanding that hanging out for the next few months means hanging out with the kids too, not just me.

On another note, I am super excited for all the things keeping me busy this month! Brooke and I are going to Disney On Ice with my mom, sister, and the girls tomorrow; while Jake gets to spend some one-on-one time with grandpa. Jewelry party next weekend. Scrapbooking for 3 days in 2 weeks while the kids stay with Bruce & Nancy, and then Kaylee is coming for a few days at the end of the month! So a lot of fun events to look forward to :)

And as an update from John, he has said that reception has sucked. Lol. He has gotten about 3 hours of sleep the past 3 days and is beyond exhausted, but found a good guy to buddy up with these past couple days. Also, his basic training officially starts tomorrow, and his graduation is May 12th. I will find out his address some time in the next few days, and will send out an email/message to everyone finding out who would like his address then. He is very much looking forward to basic starting, especially because it means he is done with paperwork for the time being! 

Time to get to bed and prepare for a busy day tomorrow! And hopefully tomorrow night at this time I will be on our brand spankin' new desktop, instead of the crappy laptop! :)


Little Moments

• Brooke praying on her own before bedtime tonight. "Now lay me sleep, pray soul keep, take me night, him morning light" (Her version of the prayer we do every night!) I figure God knows what she means ;-)
• Jake saying "Hi Dada" when I started playing the Toy Story book before he went to bed... Yes I just about cried. 
• Being able to talk to John the past 2 days, I didn't think we would get to talk at all. I get so excited even for just a random "I love you" text during the middle of the day.