Thursday, April 26, 2012


Guess who fell behind on their plan to blog better? This girl. Spring cleaning projects, the gym, SLEEP, and life have taken precedence the last little while. Which I think is good, but I want to keep up with it to a point :) Plus, I have this stalker-girl from Wisconsin who visits my blog at least daily... Her name is Ashley and shes a tad crazy. We have completely cut her out of our lives except I can't block her from my blog. But ah well, at least she is blocked in all other manners at least! So for this one I'll be answering some questions from a friend's blog that she asked me (and a few others) to answer. Although, sorry Amanda, I'm not writing my own new ones at the end. Lol. I just don't have the mental capacity for it today.... The day is only half-done and already it has already drained me to exhaustion (laundry day + hyper kiddos = really, really busy morning).

1. What inspired your blog?
     I honestly don't entirely know. There was never really a "purpose" behind it. Except to vent a little. I started it a couple years ago at the end of a crazy-busy summer. John was never home due to work, and it was nice to get on here and just vent a little about how the day went and how I was feeling about things, because I wasn't able to with him as much. So, I guess loneliness inspired my blog.

2. What lessons have you learned from blogging?
     That more people pay attention than you think (or sometimes want to); and to keep my mouth shut about certain things. But really, I only use the second one when it comes to blogging, I guess I haven't applied it to real-life just yet. Ah, well :)

3. Whats your favorite article of clothing you own and why?
     My Express jeans. They fit wonderfully. Make my butt look awesome. I could wear them for a month straight and they would never stretch or lose shape. I have never done this btw but I have worn them a couple days in a row before and they're fantastic always. So whoever says spending a little extra on jeans isn't worth it, they're a liar. I have had them for over a year and they have never faded, stretched, or worn holes (and that is saying something for how often I am crawling around on the floor with my kids). My last pair lasted 5 years!

4. It's a rainy, gloomy day. What are your plans?
     Solid chance a Target trip is going to happen, I love to shop when it is crummy out. Bringing the kids out in the mud & puddles to play (as long as its warm enough). Lots of movies. And home cooking. I also love to cook on rainy, yucky days.

5. One pet-peeve when it comes to blogging?
     Constantly spelling words incorrectly. I'm sure I do it too, but I know it isn't 50 words/blog. There is a spell-check button for a reason - use it!

6. Losing what piece of jewelry would devastate you the most?
     My wedding ring. Hands down. Obviously. I have misplaced it before (because I'm not one of those people that wears my rings 24/7, those babies come off the second I'm home to relax for the day), and I was flipping out until I finally found it. It now goes 1 of 3 places always: top of the hutch on the computer desk, top of the bookcase, or top of the candle in the bathroom.

7. Where would you recommend going for a quick getaway?
     The North Shore on Lake Superior/Duluth. It is beautiful, there is tons to do, and there are so many places you can get away to be completely alone if you want to. It is my absolute favorite place in Minnesota. If we stay here the rest of our lives, I hope to one day move there.

8. Your next goal in life is what?
     Finishing school. John & I both start up again this fall. I really enjoy school (for the most part), so I'm excited to begin again.

9. Favorite comfort food?
     Mac n cheese. With a hot dog on the side.

10. If money was no object starting NOW, what would be your first purchase?
     New cars for both John & myself. He would get a truck, I would get a Traverse, it would be glorious.

11. A book you've read more than once and can recommend?
     The Help. Its amazing. I have read it twice since I got it this past fall. The movie is great, but the book is that much better. Read it.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Is It Over Yet?

6. Whats is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

This one isn't actually as tough as I thought it would be to come up with. Because there is only one thing that sticks out from everything else that was physically and emotionally draining beyond a level I thought I could experience. I know there are parents - some I know and love dearly - who have gone through and currently go through far, far worse with their children, but this is what I have experienced.

Dealing with Jake being sick is the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life so far. 

The first trip to the hospital was awful - he was only 6 weeks old and could barely breathe. He had RSV & Bronchiolitis - a combination that would truly leave its mark on his tiny little body. The first time he spent 7 days at Children's Hospital. Being on oxygen, nebulizer (basically asthma treatments, but for small children) treatments every single hour, antibiotics to fight off the double ear infection he also got while there, several chest xrays, and having IVs to keep him hydrated. I stayed with him the whole time, John stayed as much as he could when he didn't have to work, and the rest of our family was amazing and took care of Brooklyn the entire time. The nurses & doctors were truly my saving grace - answering any and every question, and allowing me to vent & cry when I needed it. And now that is what his amazing respiratory specialist is for.

From then on that first round of sickness has brought on what is called Reactive Airway Disease. Basically a lesser form of asthma, that may or may not go away with time. There is no way of telling at all. With this we do daily lung steroid treatments with the nebulizer , and every single cold he gets is 50 times worse than it should be and he gets terribly sick. Won't eat, sleeps all day/night, but needs at least 8-10 doses of his neb medications because each of these colds settles right into his lungs and brings the wheezing back. And it made him -SO- crabby, every day, until he was about 18 months. I am so thankful that the constant crying, whining, and extreme neediness passes more with every day.

But I have (and I don't think he has either) never experienced anything worse than this last trip in December. Teething in molars turned into Jake breathing so hard they thought his muscles were going to just entirely give out. We couldn't keep up with the constant neb treatments at home, so he was admitted to Children's. The last trip paled in comparison to this one.... Having to physically hold down your 23 month old so hard that he gets bruises all over his legs and arms so that they could get each of the 6 IVs they had to put in him (he is a suuuuuper sweaty kid, so with a fever added he was sweating through all of the tape for his IVs). Listening to him scream "All done! Help me! All done!" the entire time, until he gave out from pure exhaustion and just finally fell asleep. I still tear up just thinking about it. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen. And each of the 4 days was just full of constant exhaustion from both me & Jacob. Very little sleep, constant fighting & crying from him, trying to entertain him in any and every way possible within his 2 foot boundary of his IV's.

Since then he has been very healthy, even got through 2 colds with no wheezing! But now with more teething he is battling the wheezing once again. And hopefully with the extreme rounds of nebs we are treating him with, it won't be another trip to even the doctor. Because I feel I get a bit more mentally weak with each trip. And feel like the world's worst mother, because I can't just keep him healthy. Also, because I in no way want to remember the majority of his first 18 months. I have the good parts held in my memory, but cannot wait until all of the times Jake & I felt so miserable are just a very, very distant memory.

Thursday, April 12, 2012


5. What are the 5 things that make you the most happy right now?

1) Alone time. I know, it sounds terrible; but the time when I am just away from everyone is my time where I can truly recharge my mental batteries. I love my kids, and I love to nanny, but being around my children 24/7 and then adding in two other bundles of adorableness 3 days a week...... It can get a bit emotionally draining, especially when John is gone for work. So I enjoy every moment of my alone time - because without it I get a *tad* impatient & annoyed with everything in life. And starting this month John is giving me a once a month night out completely and totally alone, to do just whatever. I'm so excited for this to start.....

2) Date nights. We also make sure to do once a month date nights. Time where we are just us. No matter how busy our schedules are, or how little we have seen each other in a few weeks because of John's work & drill schedules, we make sure to find time for this night to take a few hours and just have fun together. With no cell phones (the only exception being a text or 2 to make sure the kids are doing alright with the sitter). And we take turns planning it. I'm excited to plan May's :) Its fun to plan these nights and make them feel like we're just dating again.

3) Brooklyn & Jacob. They bring such an immense amount of love & joy into my life. Brooke's goofy & contagious laugh; her snappy little personality. Jake's big hugs & turning everything into a game. Its hard to describe, but these two make every day worth it.

4) Shopping. Yep, I'm a total girl. But I love shopping, even when its just window shopping.

5) Friends - and family that has become friends. They make the big, difficult parts of life that much easier to go through. And push you to see beyond just your point of view, which is often needed!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Ahhhhh, to be 16 again....

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16-year-old self, if you could.

1) Date. Its fun. And it shows you exactly what you do & don't want the man you marry in the future to be like. And it doesn't keep you wondering "what it would be like to be with other people" like you will hear from others in their marriages. But don't get too serious with any of them. However, when a sexy blue-eyed guy with sandy-blond hair comes around.... stick with him. Its worth it :)

2) Stay in softball, even though the coach is a major creep/perv/jerk. Because you are going to miss playing the game more than anything.

3) Stick with your good friends, and don't worry about the ones who easily come into and just as easily leave your life. They aren't worth it.

4) Do better in school. It is so worth it.

5) Don't wear that ugly blue shirt on your last day of senior year. It is horrendous looking, does not look "school spirit-ish", and you will have 100 pictures in that stupid thing.

6) Spend plenty of time with your parents & siblings. You will actually miss them when you leave for college.

7) Don't get those highlights. Just DON'T.

8) Enjoy having very minimal responsibilities and so much free time! Have adventures. Go to every single concert you can. Because you will never lose your love for seeing new artists live, but you will lose the time to do it.

9) Don't worry about what people think. Be yourself and enjoy every minute of it. Plus, it may help you with that whole fear of public speaking thing.

10) Learn how to cook. Seriously. And be more adventurous in what foods you try. Maybe it'll make you less picky as an adult.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
(I know I have skipped days, but blogging every single day is hard! Not a chance I'm going to do this in just 30 days, If I get done with these questions by the end of May I'll be quite satisfied!)
Ahhhh, my mom and dad :) We've had highs, we've had lows, as I think any parent-child relationship has! Lets start with mi padre!

I feel I am quite a lot like my father, which is probably why we butted heads so much when I was a teenager. Because when you put two outspoken & stubborn people together, there is going to be friction lol. And really, I was a pain in the butt, I fully understand that. But I was right, the majority of the time ;-) Although, he may have known better about the boyfriends I brought home when he would give them the stink eye the whole time they were over! It was pretty funny to see the guys squirm :) But I also had great times with him as kids & teen. He was the one who when we were on vacation would always take us out exploring. And the one that when we would go up to Lake Superior would come out hiking and climbing on all the rocks with me because no one else would. Even if we did fall down a giant hill that had flat rocks all over it (not our best idea to date). He would sit down and help with math homework, and help us to practice whichever sport it was we were playing at the time so we could do our best. He made sure life as a kid was genuinely fun. And I absolutely love what our father-daughter relationship has grown into. He is an excellent grandfather to my kids (the silly grandpa monster as the kids call him), and is wonderful to sit out on the deck and just talk to. I'm glad I had my kids so young, so that they can experience all the fun that grandpa has to share!

My mom & I have had a pretty usual mother-daughter relationship I feel. Well, what I think should be normal and what I hope to have with Brooklyn one day. Minus the teen years. Have I already mentioned I was a sucky teenager at home? Because I was. We had some good fights, some good door slamming, I don't want to live here, I can't wait to be 18, etc, etc fights. But boy am I thankful I'm past that! Because my mom is a person I can talk to about absolutely anything. She doesn't judge what me or my siblings choose to do, but she helps us to move along the best possible path. My favorite memories are our shopping trips we have taken, because even if I get nothing, we have a blast. Especially Day After Thanksgiving. An entire day spent with my mom and sister where we talk, laugh, go out to eat, gossip, and complain. If we go a few days without talking it feels just weird! And she has a huge heart. She loves her kids and grandbabbies more than anything (although I'm quite positive the grandbabbies have outranked us ever since Josephine was born; but I understand, they're cuter). She has taught me to love people, even for their flaws. She has tried to teach me how to be "lady-like", but unfortunately most of that never sunk in lol. She is the queen of etiquette, so I know how to be proper when it is absolutely required (I have a feeling this will be quite useful with John's career in the military!). Mostly she has taught me what being a mom truly should be like. And not to belch in public.

I thank God every day for the parents He gave me, because they gave me the best upbringing I could imagine; even if I didn't deserve it all the time.

Monday, April 2, 2012

The Things We Fear The Most

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

1- I am terrified of hitting a deer while I'm driving. Or someone else is driving. Or ever. In a vehicle. Because I am positive I won't just quickly hit it, it dies, and move along. I'm quite sure it would come through my windshield, antlers thrashing, and then kill/brutally harm me & anyone in the car, especially the kids. And since we drive up north to the cabin at night several times a year.... Lets just say I am SUPER alert for the entire drive!! This whole fear started when my brother & I were driving to the cabin really late one night after a Blaine football game..... He said he would stay  awake and help watch for deer on the back roads. Well, anyone who knows David knows that didn't happen, the guy loves to sleep. Well, we're on the last 2 miles before we get to the cabin, driving around the lake, when 3 deer come bolting out right in front of us. I slam the brakes, David wakes up flipping out thinking we've died, and the deer just STAND THERE! So I, being 17 and dumb and never encountering deer in this way before, honked at them. And they came running at the car! None of them officially hit it, but one just stood there right next to the hood looking all intimidating like "I'm gonna get you for that" (that's what I thought in my head, I doubt it was actually thinking anything lol). So, I honked again, and they ran off. And ever since, I'm a freak about watching the ditch while driving at night.

2- Burning alive. I know its a pretty common fear, but it is the last way I would want to die. I have no idea where the fear came from, but I'm not a big "fire" person. Bonfires are good and all, I just stay a distance away. Unlike my husband; who can never be too close. 

3- This one is pretty obvious. Losing John. He is my rock, my best friend. And he has been a major part of my life since we were in middle school. Whether it be to divorce, or death, it isn't anything I want to think about. I will probably be the world's biggest wreck during deployment. Hopefully I'll be able to keep my cool as well as some of the strong ladies I know. Being married, having a family, it was always my ultimate goal/dream, and I have no idea what I would do if it was taken away from me.

Until next time!